Control Girl

Shannon Popkin is a local author/speaker who has challenged me tremendously through her talks at my church’s young moms group, Bloom. She just published her first book, Control Girl, early this year. It was free on Amazon one day, so I picked it up.

I devoured it when I read it in March. God used His word and Shannon’s book to open my eyes to control issues in my life.

One area that seems to keep coming back to haunt me is my health. I just firmly believe I’m a healthy person.

  • I eat the best food I know how to prepare.
  • I exercise regularly (while having periods of not exercising, I’ve been active and/or exercising since middle school!).
  • I don’t use chemicals in my house.
  • try to read my Bible regularly.

I keep telling myself that I’m doing everything right. I’m checking off all the boxes to keep my health in check.

And yet…things keep falling apart…

My AVM

Type 1 Diabetes

If I allow them, these thoughts start to snowball on me. If I leave it to fester, all of the sudden I’m at death’s door (in my mind’s eye).

This is not the life God has for me.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

Worry, anxiety (aka. control) are not what God has for me. Psalm 37 is full of good “do not worry!” advice. It is more focused on comparing yourself to others, but I think God doesn’t want us to worry no matter what!

Do not fret because of those who are evil
or be envious of those who do wrong;
for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.
Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.

Psalm 37: 1-9 (emphasis mine)

I can do what I think are all the right things, eat all the right foods, exercise very faithfully, and yet my body still might fall apart. God knows the number of my days, and He also knows if those days are filled with health or sickness.

I gain nothing by worrying about why my body isn’t quite right. I lose valuable time and energy that could be used to further His kingdom.

My focus for today: Give God control back. Not that I truly had control in the first place, but I like to think I do!

 

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